EPIGRAMS.
¶ Lectori.
MY Epigrams, like to a wandring Guest,
Or tattard Souldier, that's but lately Prest,
Your fauour craues, to grant a Passe vnto them,
A greater kindnesse you can neuer doe them.
Bibens his bountie.
BIbens, to shew his liberalitie,
Made Lusus drunke. A noble qualitie,
And much esteemed, which Bibens fayne would proue,
To be the Signe of his familiar loue.
Lusus, beware, thou'lt finde him in the end
Familier Deuill, no familier Friend.
I
•
Ducum.
DVcus keepes house: and it with reason stands
That he keepe house, that sold away his lands
¶ Omne Simile non est Idem.
TOgether as we walkt, a friend of mine
Mistook a painted Maddame for a Signe,
That in a window stood; but I acquainted,
Told him, it was no woodden Signe was painted,
But Maddam (—.) Yea true, sayd he,
Yet 'tis a Signe of little modestie.
Gr
••
e pondus.
WHat tell you vs that Milo bore a Bull!
Is that so strange? Yon silke & siluer Gull
Beareth a Countrey Church vpon his backe.
The lighter Bull made Milo's shoulders ake:
A Steeple on his head, and at his heeles
A Ring of Bells, and yet nor stoopes nor reeles.
On a Shoemaker.
WHat bootes it thee to follow such a Trade
That's alwayes vnderfoote and vnderlayde?
On Fuscus his valour.
FVscus the Bragart being, in field to fight,
Protesting of his valour ouernight,
Shaking his Sword, he swore, Now by this hand.
Ile fight and kill so long as I can stand.
The Field was pitcht: and now begins the fray;
And Fuscus now begins to runne away,
Nor euer stints his course, vntill by flight
He had outrunne the danger of the fight.
The Combat ended, Fuscus he was wanting,
And found ere long, where he for feare stood panting.
And thus they mockt him; You swore by your hand,
You'ld fight and kill so long as you could stand.
'Tis true (sayd one,) but pray doe Fuscus right;
For Fuscus neyther stood to kill nor fight.
Ad Rinaldum amic.
SEe, see, Rinaldus! Prethee who is that
That weares you great greene Fether in his hat,
Like to some Tilter? Sure it is some Knight,
Whose wits being greene, his head must needs be light.
In Lusiam.
LVsia, who scornes all others imitations,
Cannot abide to be out-gone in fashions:
She sayes, she cannot haue a Hat or Ruffe.
A Gowne, a Pettycoate, a Band, or Cuffe,
But that these Citizens (whom she doth hate)
Will get into't, at nere so deare a rate:
But Lusia now doth such a fashion follow,
Whose Hayre is Flax, and Band as Saffron yellow,
That there's no Citizen, what ere she be,
Can be transformed so like an Owle as she.
In Lincum.
LIncus the Draper, for his more auayle,
Dams vp his lights to set his Ware to sayle;
And counts it (in his Art) a misterie
To gayne by lying, oaths, and flatterie:
But take this rule, If Lincus his lights stoppe,
Deeme you his conscience darker then his shoppe.
Destruit aedificat mutat quadrata rotundis.
A Man there was (which here shall not be nam'd)
that with great cost a wondrous building fram'd;
But as the building rose, the Builders purse
Did pine in substance, (Builders common curse.)
It cost him many a pound: but that's no matter.
Slightly being built, the building gan to tatter:
And by mischance, downe falls of it a part.
The Workmen (they being glad with all their heart
Come to their Master, thereof to complayne,
And askt his leaue to
•
ayse it vp agayne.
Nay soft (quoth he) it is a question whether
More may fall downe; let's set vp all together.
Canutus reformation.
CAnutus now will be no more a Ranger,
But Marryed liue, and lye at Rack and Manger.
So meanes not shee. Well, if she goe to grasse,
Hee'll prooue an Oxe, that was before an Asse.
On a Maydens thoyse.
A Parent to his Childe this counsell gaue,
Quoth he, My Girle, two Suiters thou must haue,
The one is yong and faire, vertuous & wise,
Of worthiest Stocke, and rarest qualities:
The other different, both in age and nature,
N
•
yther so fit, nor yet so sweete a Creature;
Yet be resolued, and make that Suiter blest
Whom in thy loue thou thinkst the Worthi
•
st?
Straight she replyes, Since choyce is left to mee,
Nature commands, that Age with Age agree,
Vertue and Loue compell my heart thereto
To loue the youngman; and in truth I doe.
Why, but (sayd he) be not mistaken than,
Conceiue, the Elder is the better man.
How so, quoth she! it's a Paradox to mee,
How being the woorse, he can the better bee?
In Pigmeum.
LIttle Pigmeus weares his Mistris Gloue,
Her Ring, and Feather, (Fauours of her loue.)
Who could but laugh, to see the little Dwarfe
Grace out himselfe with her imbrodered Scarfe?
'Tis strange, yet true, her Gloue, Ring, Scarfe and Fan,
Makes him (vnhansome) a wel fauoured man.
Flemminius Sickenesse.
FLemminius nere was sicke; yet was it sed
Flemminius he was sicke, yea, sicke and dead:
His Friends lamented, shedding many a teare:
At length it came vnto Flemminius care,
Who thus
•
aue answer; Neuer let them feare it,
The Newes is ill, yet am I glad to heare it.
In Oblitum.
I Wondred much (as I had wondrous reason)
Oblitus should, within so short a season,
Forsake, forget his old and ancient friend,
For whom he oft had vow'd his life to spend:
I was not altred much, but so was hee,
From low estate, to higher dignitie,
Yet knew I him; hath he forgotten me?
Preferment then hath spoyld his memorie:
Yet this I know, 'Tis but his paltry pelfe.
He knowes me well; but he forgets himselfe.
Lucus Iourney.
LVcus that trauel'd with an hundred pound,
Was rob'd, and left wel beaten, and fast bound:
But when to share their prize they had begun,
No miracle was wrought, yet he vndone.
Nimis Amor.
TWo friends (that had not met a long time since)
Together supt: but at their parting thence,
Tom swore hee'd haue Kit home: but all in vayne.
Kit swore as fast hee'd haue Tom backe agayne.
In kindnesse thus they striue, and striuing goe
From home to home: nor could they end it so;
But too and fro, walking through many a Streete:
It now being late, the Constable they meete.
He gaue command; his Bil-men quickly staid them,
And took thē thence, & in the Compter laid them.
And thus by Fortune was a meanes prouided
To end the strife, which could not be decided:
All which was well, but that that fell out worse;
They saued their oath, but could not saue their purse.
In Priscus commendations of his Mistris.
PRiscus commends his Mistres for a Girle,
Whose lips are Rubies, & whose teeth are pearle.
They neede prooue so, or else it will be found
He payes too deare, they cost him many a pound:
Vltra posse non est esse.
HOw should Rattillo lose his purse last night,
And 20. shillings in it? was't not by slight?
Why? he came in no crowd. What, did hee play?
No. Hee's no Gamester. Did he no debts pay?
Nor Fee no Lawyers? Neyther. Was he not drunk?
Neyther. Nor did bestow it on his Punke?
Why, then the question's this; If none of these,
How should he lose what he had not to leese?
In Rufum.
AS Rufus prays'd his Beauer Hat of late,
One that stood by (striking him o're the pate)
Sayd it was felt. Rufus would not beleeue it.
He stroke againe, till Rufus did conceiue it.
So darke was the conceit, that out of doubt,
He nere had found, had he not felt it out.
In Cornutum.
WHy should Cornutus Wife lie in the Strand,
And hee, poore silly man, lye in the Citie?
Belike the Shop was not sufficient man'd.
To part the Head and Members yet 'tis pittie:
But what cares she for head; I hope she scornes
Were he seauen heads, shee'd crowne him with ten hornes.
Richards mourning.
WHen his old Master buried was with cost,
Dick had a mourning Cloke, but it was lost.
The Corse to Churchward goes, ech takes his turne,
But Dick took none: for Richard could not mourne.
Yes, that he did; the Company he forsooke,
And mourn'd not in, but mourned for his Cloke.
Flaccu's payment.
FLaccus came to a Tauerne, there to dine,
Cal'd for good store of meat, great store of wine,
The Reckoning brought, Flaccus sayes not a word,
Nor drawes his purse; but out he drawes his sword:
Some say he proffer'd wrong; but how thinke you?
He drew vpon the Drawer, pay'd his due.
He owed him the reckoning but of late:
Hath he not scored, and payd him on the pate?
On Iustice her entertaynment.
IVstice came downe from heauen of late to be
A perfect Iudge, without partialitie:
But when that Iustice to the Bench was come,
The Bench it was so full she had no roome;
So backe she tooke her flight vnto the heauens,
And left the world againe at sixe and seauens.
Iustice her reward.
IVstice fledde vp to heauen, some say was blinde:
Why so is many a Iustice left behinde:
But Iustice being blinde, the cause regarded,
R
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spected none nor neuer was rewarded.
So say not all, some of the Bench agrees,
That Iustice kept a Clarke to take her fees.
In Briscum.
HIs Father being dead, Briscus was told,
And found ere long where was his fathers gold,
All Angels rich, but poorely clad in leather.
Briscus tooke pitty on them, and straight hither
Sends some for Sattin, other some for Tissue,
Gloues, Scarfes, Hats, Hangers: but now marke the issue,
They all being freed, did all consent together,
And took their flight, poor Briscus knows not whither,
which he lamēts, blaming those former kings,
Who made a Law, he might not clippe their wings.
In Ledaem.
BEcause I'me black & swarfe, Leda doth scorn me,
And if I marry her, she vowes shee'l horne me:
But Leda, know (I speak't not in disgrace)
Your red and white is but a pybauld face.
Enigma.
AS often as I please it changeth forme.
It is no Coward, though it doe no harme:
Tis neuer hurt, nor euer doth it feede,
Tis nothing worth, yet nothing doth it neede.
Swiftly it runnes, yet neuer maketh sound,
And once being lost, againe 'tis neuer found.
'Tis a fit Seruant for a Gentleman,
And a true patterne for a Seruingman.
'Tis borne a Gyant, liues a Dwarfe, and nigh
Vnto its death, a Gyant doth it dye.
Ad bonos socios.
Old Women told vs tales long time agoe,
Of Robbin Goodfellow, what he would doe,
Who now they say is gone: but yet wee finde,
There's many of his name are left behinde.
In Pratum Iur: cons.
I Asked Pratus what was his Profession?
He savd a Lawyer, who by h
•
s discretion,
Could right and wrong, according to the Law,
To cherrish Vertue, and keepe Vice in Awe:
I know it contrary, and full of Ire,
Setti
•
g his Awe aside, I call'd him Lier.
On Captaine Drake his Voyage.
SOme thinke it true, whilst other some do doubt,
Whether Capt. Drak
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compast the world about.
Some say he did it in the Deuils name,
And none ere since could doe the like againe:
But these are al deceiued, why should they doubt it?
They know each yeere there's some that goe about it.
Ad amicam.
I I Am the happiest ere inioy'd a Loue,
u. You are the first did euer constant proue:
ly. Lye down my wandring thoughts, thē take your rest,
an. An blessed once, continue euer blest.
Answere.
na. NA, he that shall: tour affections grutch,
yl. Ill be his Fortune, since my prayer is such:
u. You loue me now, let not affections seuer,
I. I loue you now, and I shall loue you euer.
Will's error.
WIll sayes his Wife's so fat, she scarce can go:
But she as nimbly answeres, Faith sir, no.
Alas, good Will, thou art mistaken quite,
For all men know that she is wondrous light.
Spinus his choyce.
SPinus would wed, but he would haue a Wench
That hath all Tongues, Italian, Spanish, French,
But I diswade him; for if she hath any,
She hath enough; if two, sh'as two too many.
To Mr. Richard Moore, one of the Masters of the Chancery, on his name.
FOr to be Rich and hard, or hard and Rich,
Is not thy nature, though thy name be such:
For to be Rich 'tis hard, but thou hast store
Of Riches, Honour, yet of Vertue more:
Which Vertue, Honour, Riches now adayes
Being hard to get, More great must be thy prayse,
So I, and all that know thee, doe agree,
The More's the pittie there's no More like thee.
To the Bookeseller.
NAy, feare not Bookeseller, this Booke will sell:
For be it good, as thou know'st very well,
All will goe buy it; but say it be ill,
All will goe by it too: thus thou sei'st still.
Vulcans Marriage.
VVlcan and Venus were together wedded:
But Mars charg'd in, & Vulcans Venus bedded.
what thogh the Smith were black, & she were white,
She might haue ask't him leaue, for leaue is light:
Why so is she, what then? why then she scornes
But to make vp the waight with Vulcan's hornes.
In Borachium.
BOrachio sayd, Wine made his head too light,
And therfore would not drinke it: yet last night
Carowsing healths, so heauy was his head,
He fell asleepe, and there was left for dead:
Within a while he wak't, and found for right,
The Wine had made his purse, not head, too light.
In Dominam Membrosam.
MAdam Membrosa had to me a suite,
To set forth her good parts: and thus I'le do't:
Setting a side thy iudgement, and thy wit,
(Which though but little is) for thee more fit:
First, of rare Complexion thou hast store,
And when 'tis gone, 'knowst well where to haue more.
Then, for thy Hayre, (nay, thinke not I doe flatter)
It cost thee to the Tire man, no small matter.
Fingers like Spiders clawes; nay, not so thicke,
And yet to picke a Pocket farre more quicke.
Thou a small Foote, nor a short Heele do'st lacke,
Which makes thee fall so often on thy backe.
As for thy other Parts (which I know least)
Thou get'st thy liuing by; sure those are best.
Theeues falling out, true men come by their goods.
TWo cheating Mates, whose only trade was shift,
To chea
•
e a Countrey fellow was their drift:
The place being fi
•
, they quarrel'd, and fell out,
And needes at Buffets they would haue a bout:
The honest man slept in to part the fray;
But they in bustling, Nim'd his Purse away:
Which after missing, he (poore man) laments,
And that he parted them, greatly repents:
But they being parted, part what they had got,
And laughed a maine at the poore simple sot,
Swearing, the Ancient Prouerbe they had crost,
Since they fell out, and he his goods had lost.
On the sixe Cases.
No. NAnta was nominated for a Whore,
Gin. For that she had bin Ginitiue before:
Da. Notice hereof was to the Iustice giuen,
Acc. Who her accused, that she had loosely liuen;
Vo. But she cry'd mercy, and her fault vpript',
Abl. And so was tane away, and soundly whipt.
Her Case was ill: yet will the question be,
Being thus declin'd, in what a case was she?
Ad Lectorem.
IS't possible that thou my Booke hast bought,
That sayd'st 'twas nothing worth! why was it naught?
Read it again, perchance thy wit was dul,
Thou mayst finde something at the second pull:
Indeed at first thou naught didst vnderstand,
For shame get something at the second hand.
On Luce's maintenance.
HEe that takes paines shall get, the Prouerbe go
•
s;
But Luce takes pleasure, yet doth nothing lose.
Poore labouring Porters, with much toyle & sweat,
Scarce get sufficient Victuals for to eate:
But if that Luce at any time doth lacke,
She with her belly can maintayne her backe.
Peters trouble.
PEter is troubled with a froward Wife,
Whose curstnesse makes him wearie of his life:
The simple fellow, (with her rayling crost)
Hath often wish't that she her tongue had lost.
Alas (poore Peter) sure thy case is ill,
When shee'le nor lose her tongue, nor keepe it still.
Parnels comfort.
PArnell, being taken in the very Act,
Was sent vnto Bride-well, for such her fact:
But be contented, Parnell, cease to mourne,
Th'art at the Wheele of Fortune, make it turne.
In Duellum.
STratus and Stremon went to Field to fight,
Stratus was slayne, and Stremon taken streight;
He being condem'd, was saued: yet by this strife,
The one, his liuing; th' other lost his life.
In Bachum & Venèrem.
BAchus and Venus well accord together:
And whither Bachus goes, Venus goes thither:
Bachus backs Venus; Venus for his paine,
Pleasureth Bachus on her backe againe.
On
Venter the Merchant.
VEnter the Merchant is runne madde, they say,
On the report his Ships are cast away.
What, did he Venter with his goods his wits,
That he is falne into these franticke fits?
Then, peraduenture, it may well be found,
The Sea his goods, and he his wits hath drown'd.
To the Gentlewomen Painters.
APpelles, famous for the Art of Painting,
Vnto whose worke there naught but life was wāting;
Had he cōpar'd, or held with you the strife,
He had not wonne, yours comes so neere the life:
Your Portractures you make to speake and goe,
Appelles workmanship could nere doe so.
Tempora mutantur & nos mutamur in illis.
TO be a Whore-master, in former time,
Was by our Fathers counted a base crime:
How much the world's worse then it was before,
Each Gallant makes his Mistris of his Whore.
Ad Iur: cons.
WOrds wisely set are worth much gold,
So were we by our ancient Fathers told,
And so we doe beleeue: Experience then
Doth teach vs, Lawyers are the wisest men.
Tom's bargaine.
TOm should haue payd ten shillings for a Sword
But would not take it on the Cutlers word;
He bid him try't, he did, at the first stroke
It prou'd not worth a point, the point was broke.
To Mistris
E. S.
LEt but thy beautious eyes looke on this line,
To see, as in thy Glasse, thy beautie shine,
Which beauty nature gaue thee to disgrace
Our latter Artists, who make vp a face
Of seeming beautie, for to blinde such eyes,
As with Pigmalion them doe Idolize.
Should I not praise, what I praise-worthy see,
I should doe wrong to nature and to thee:
Yet, whilst I speake thee faire, so short I come
Of thy perfection, that I'me deem'd by some
To light the shining Sunne: Yet from my hand
Receiue this graine vnto thy heape of sand.
Epitaph.
STay, doe not passe! here fixe your eyes
Vpon a Virgins Obsequies!
Pay Tribute to a troubled heart,
T'is but a teare before you part:
And what are teares? They are but streames
Of sorrow, which, like frightfull dreames,
Disturbe your sences- Yet I craue
No other Sacrifice to haue:
But if you passe, and let fall none,
Y'are harder then this Marble stone.
Your loue is colder, and your eyes
As senselesse of my miseries.
On my Venture in Sir
Walter Rawleigh's Voiage.
I Being perswaded (not by reason led)
For Gold vnto Gwyan aduentured;
Great were our hopes of good successe; for none
Expected lesse to gaine then fiue for one:
But following Fate (she fickle) thither led,
Where neyther they of Gold nor Siluer sped:
But, poore, distrest, homeward returne againe,
Mony, liues, labour, all was spent in vaine.
The hopefull necke of their designe was broke;
For all their Gold was vanish't into Smoke.
Thus I lost all; wherefore it is a signe
The found no Mine of gold, yet gold of mine.
A Data fata sequtus.
The Motto on Sir Walter Rawghlie's Armes.
In Costum.
COstus his custome stole; but by the way
The Wayters met him, and his goods did stay:
He it denyes, and proffers those to bring,
Should proue it was no vnaccustomed thing.
He meant to steale. If so? why should they choose
Such Customes, rather to finde then loose.
On Smithfield.
T'Was Faire at Smithfield once, but once a yeere;
At Bartholmetide: but now the Cities care
Hath mad
•
it fayre at all times, paued it round.
T'is twentie shillings better by the pound.
Nor haue they much bestowed their cost amisse,
Since there's no Soile so plentifull as this;
Heere's Hay in great abundance, heads of Cattell;
As Horses, Oxen, hither come to battle:
Yet what is strangest, It nere needeth dressing.
Here is the horne of plentie. Vulcans blessing.
Epitaph on a Foote-man.
THis nimble Foote-man ran away from Death;
And here he rested, being out of breath.
Here Death him ouertooke, made him his slaue,
And sent him of an Arrant to his Graue.
Censures on the Voyage to Gwyana.
SVndry oppinions abroad are spred,
Why the Gwyanians no better sped;
Some say, they were preuented out of Spayne,
Others, because some did returne agayne:
Some say, 'twas sicknesse: others, their abode
So long ere they put from the English Rode.
Some say, their General's absence: but the most
Say, Captaine Kemish death, when he was lost,
All was ouerthrowne, he onely was to doe it,
And that Sir Walter came but Rawly to it.
On a Scriuener.
I Told a Scriuener of his Briberie,
His Broking, Forging, Cheating, Knauery,
He sayd, he heard me not; so't may appeare,
How could he heare, that had no Eares to heare?
Ad Templum pro bonis.
HAile to this holy place, this ancient seate,
Where Iustice, ioyn'd with wisedome doth intreat
Of right & wrong, & reads her sacred Lawes,
More for deuotions sake, then for applause.
This is the place chosen to be the helme,
Where Iustice sits, to steare about the Realme.
Both law and equitie, hence Iustice driues
The Charriot of fayre peace, and leades in Gyues,
Wrong, and oppression, throughout the Land,
Whilst peace and plentie ride ioyn'd hand in hand.
This is Astrea's Temple, which is greac't
With many a golden Vessell, which are plac't
In places eminent. Those Astrea blesse;
And blessing, make their number numberlesse.
De Templo in malos.
SAint Peters and S. Pauls are in disgrace:
The Middle Temple, that
•…
the onely place,
Whither both Citie and the Countrey come,
As to the Temple of Ierusalem,
To heare the Law, and many a Iew to proffer;
As many an angell. None must come to offer
A Widdowes mite: For how should liue the Scribes,
But by false profits, and by double bribes?
Doues are brought hither to be bought and sold,
And Countrey Clyants bring their bags of gold
Hither to change Both friends, and foes, & strangers
Are vs'd alike, for these are Money changers.
This is a Sanctuary that is free
For all but Sarjants; yet we doe agree,
There's many good, and graue, whom these things greeues,
Wer't not for them, 'twere but a denne of theeues.
Sextus Purchase.
IT may be true (for Sextus in it stands,)
That he hath purchased great store of Lands:
But 'tis conceald: yea marry, so't may be,
For I am sure 'twas neuer knowne to me.
What if he lyes? Why, then the question's, whether
The Truth and Lands bee both conceal'd together.
Yea, that they are: for if the truth were knowne,
The Lands would soone be found, but few or none.
Mirabilie Visu.
WHen old Penochio came first to towne,
And saw the Coaches rūning vp & down,
Staring vpon them long, he hoopt alowd:
The people thronging round him made a crowd,
And askt him, what he meant? Quoth he I hooted
Because before I nere saw women booted.
On the Lotteries.
SOme doe condemne our late great Lotteries,
And say they were but tricks and fopperies
For to get money: This is all the thanke
They giue the Founders; yet all were not blanke.
One myracle it wrought, say what they can,
It made a Tayler for to be a Man.
Currit mercator ad Indos.
SOme fondly thinke our great East-India Trade
Hath all our other Merchants beggars made;
And that they carry men, and money store,
To kill our Marriners, and make vs poore.
These are confuted all, and held as vaine,
In eighteene Moneths they now returne againe:
Returne a gaine said I? Nay, but a losse,
If they lose men and money, but for drosse.
On the High Spring tide at the Shewes at the
Palsgraue's Wedding.
THe Sea fled in, willing to see this sport,
That to the neighbouring Lands she might report
Their valiant Prowesse, and each glyding flood,
Came rowling in; & each streame would haue stood
For to particip
•
te these warlike Shewes,
So that the Thames could hardly them enclose:
For some, to be spectators of the sight,
Got vp vpon the bancks to see them fight.
On Iustice Ballance.
SOme doe paint Iustice sitting in her state,
With Scales & Ballance to giue each his waight:
Surely her Scales are euen, so thinke I,
And that the beame hangs not in Iustice eye.
Old Siluium.
SIluius by Simmony a Liuing got,
And he liu'd well vpon it. 'Pray why not?
For he the poore did pill, the rich did lurch,
And so became a Piller of the Church.
De perochia beatae Mariae de Arcubus.
AN Archer, bragging, sayd, he well did know
How to bring any man vnto his bow:
Yet, when he put his knowledge into vse,
Hee hardly could say Bo vnto a Goose.
Ex abundantia cordis es loquitur.
THe mouth speaks frō the abundance of the heart,
So were we taught: but they haue found an Art,
Lately at Westminster, which is farre woorse,
Most mouthes speake from th' abundance of the purse.
Ad Lectorem Candidum.
MY Booke arraign'd for causes criminall,
Must dye a death which is vnnaturall:
A Iury Ignorant haue past vpon it,
And found it guiltie: So there is throwne on it
Many contemptuous speeches, insomuch
As I appeale to you, whose wisedome's such
As errs not, and craue Iudgement from your breath,
Whether it shall be burnt or prest to death.
Certaine CHARACTERS, Called PAR PARI: or, Like to like, quoth the Diuell to the Collier.
A Pirat is an excellent Bow-man.
WHo from his childe-hood being much bent to rouing, is in time become a cunning Shooter, and thereby hath wonne many a Prize. If you purpose to outgoe him, you must betake you to your flight: but if once he Boord you, your game is lost. Adam Bell and his Archers gaue him first example to bee an Out-law; And because in times past he hath beene a beneficiall Souldier to the English, hee is sent vnto the Marshalsey; for whose sake, there is a Stake or two set vp at Wapping, for him, or any of his Companions to make vse of.
A Drunkard is a Master of Defence,
WHo dares challenge any Dutchman or German. He takes no felicitie at the single, but dares any man at the double. He is but too to cruell: for oftentimes hee seekes the bloud of the Grape; ye
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hath he in many a Duel bin
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eft for dead, when his Friends, taking of him vp, haue f
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und his crowne crackt. Once he had almost lost his eyes, insomuch as he was led home to his lodging. And if at any time he be not able to stand, he may be well excused, because he hath got a cut in the leg. Many times haue I seene him so stonied, he had not the power
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speake; yet w
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ll he justle any man in the Streete, and very manfully fal vpon all fewer at a time. If
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erchance he meetes with a Constable, hee prepares for the Encounter, and betakes him to his word.
A meere Gallant is one that playes at Noddy.
ONe & twentie ends his game; for the like number ended his Nonnage, and made him flush, which if perchance he be, expect him to shew it very openly: But if there come a sequ
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ns, you shall haue
him keepe close. For feare of a payre of knaues, you we
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e best to looke to his d
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aung, lest that hee shuffle with you But of all things, take neede how you fall out about scoring; for hee is knowne to bee a g
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eat Cutter. If it bee you fortune
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get to twentie, it is impossible for you to loose the gam
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, because you are sure to haue a Noddi
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in hand.
A Curtezan is a Musi
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ian.
WHo from her youth being brought vp to pricksong, hath lost no time, but is become a Woman of note. She learnt it of the Nightingale, and in imitati
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n of he
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sleepes, alwaies against a Prickle. She sings sometimes in Paris
▪ but they are not much respected, because they are growne common; yet neuer was she put downe by any but onely in the closing, and the reason, as some say, is because she fals oftē too flat, she steales away your cares with her voice, and in the meane time hath many crotchets in her head how to straine courtesie with your purse. A large and a long shee is well affected with; but a briefe or a sembriefe, nothing pleaseth
her. Of all Instruments she loues not the Recorder because it makes her too melancholy. Shee hath playd at many a Marriage, yet neuer could affect the Bride-well, although shee hath beene paid largely for her paine. Imitating the ancient Poets, she sings her Poems in Cars, and the people being much delighted therewith, for the maintainance of her voyce, haue bestowed many an Egge vpon her, which oftentimes haue proued as rotten as her selfe. Faine would she haue beene a Quarrister at Pauls, but that she loues not to stand in a Surplisse: yet many times she repayres thither, especially vnto the lower end of the Middle Ile. She is neuer out of the moods but when she meetes with a Be
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dle or Constable, and then shee begins to quarter, because shee feareth to sing a Counter tenor. If you have a desire to heare her, eyther shee is gone to Lambeth to take the ayre; or else you shall meete her at the next Tauerne with her conserts.
A Gull Traueller is the Ball at Tennis,
WHo, by reason of the later Racket in France, hath left it, and now hath tooke vp his place
of residence in the Court of England. After his passage hither, hee held vs with a long discourse of the seuerall hazzards he had bin driuen into: How he was tost from this place to that place, hauing not a few times past vnder the line. Neither forgot hee his rare exploy
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s done in the Field, in the late banding of faction: nor what grea
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seruices hee had beene proffered so his g
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od parts in Court: but because he lyeth for his v
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tage, which in him in a fault, it is fit he be whipt out of the Court.
A Swaggerer is one that playe
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at Ruffe,
FRom whence hee tooke the denomination of a Ruffin. Take heede how you deale with him, for he is much giuen to packing; and at play his vsuall oath is Renounce me. He cares but for one good suite at a time: and the foure orders of Knaues are his most familier Companions. Let no Wenches trust him, for hee is neuer well but when he is taking vp their Coates, who for his sawcinesse is oftentimes sent to the Stocks, where euery one is glad to finde h
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m.
A broking Scriuener is a Barbersurgion.
WHo in his Apprenticehood being brought vp to the Art of Poleing, is now made free of the Shauers. He hath his Shop fully furnisht with most rare and cunning Instruments. His chiefe customers consists of Vsurers and mad-men, which mad-men he so hampers, keeping them fast bound, that in sixe Moneths many of them recouer their wits againe. He begins to haue some practise in Phisicke;
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,
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f any young Gentleman be troubled wi
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h a looseness, he can giue him a bynding potion
▪ and againe, if he be bound, he can minister vnto him a purging pill, that shall fetch an extraordinarie quantitie of yellow stuffe from him. He neuer mist of his cunning but once, when looking into the Market-place through a window, he lost one of his eares, and neuer since could be cured.
A Gamester at Irish is a Merchant Aduenturer.
THe Dice are his Ships, the Men are his goods, which lye in seuerall parts to to bee brought
home in safetie. In the returne, many times, his goods are taken by Pyrats, who lye in waite for them: but if in the pursuite hee can but safely bring
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hem ore the barre, he cares not a point for them. If
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he weather be so tempestious, that hee be constrained to lye at Hull, ten to one but the Ships are cast away. When he comes to make vp his accompts, hee beares away as much of his goods as he can possible▪ for then is he compelled to breake, which is a great bi
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to his credite: and his aduersaries imediately enter their actions, and attache his goods: so are they carried backe againe to the bilbowes, where they lye wind-bound vntiil such time as he hath spent most part of his estate. When his aduersaries hauing got their will of him, more of constraint thē pity, release him.
An Amorist is a Painter.
WHo paints foorth his passions in blacke and white, and carries his Mistris Colours in his Hat. He hath made her Picture in a Sonnet, & doth Idolize her like Pigmalion. If you make any comparisons with her, he will draw, although he be beate
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blacke and blew in the quarrell Hee is so obseruatiue, that he will not omit her shaddow, and accounts it the heig
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t of his happinesse when hee can frame his demeanour to please her. The vtmost end of his studie. is but to attaine to the secrets of the Arte of L
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ming, wherein being vnskilfull, hee sometimes layes his Colours on a false ground, whereby they fading he himselfe is disgraced.