Æsop from Islington

AESOP FROM Iſlington.

—Secretum divitis ullum Eſſe putas? Servi ut taceant, Jumenta loquentur Et Canis, & poſtes, & marmora. — Juven. —de te Fabula narratur.

Printed in the Year, 1699.

THE PREFACE TO THE READER.

AESOP it ſeems is in faſhion, and becauſe it's a kind of Cuſtom to date him from ſome Waters, (like his Predeceſſors) I had as good make uſe of Iſlington, ſince it is not very far from thence to Weſtminſter, which I believe is the end of his Journey. The Fables were written to pleaſe one of Judgment; and whether they will pleaſe any Body elſe is more than the Author knows, and whom they will not pleaſe he cares not. There is a mode in Prefaces too, and jocond one to theſe looſe Papers in the Modern Tripping Stile, wou'd perhaps paſs them off better; but there are few in theſe days have reaſon to laugh, (except thoſe that win) unleſs it be after the rate of Mark Coleman, the Oxford Madman, who in his deſcription of Bedlam ſaid they there made one Sing, and Laugh, till ones Heart akes.

It may be another account of Aeſop than what we have had from Plaundes Camerarius, &c. wou'd help to piece out a Leaf; and becauſe one may be given of him, that the leſs ſtudious part of the Town is not well acquainted with, there ſhall be a hint of him, which is, that he is not the man we take him to be, but in ſtead of the Samian Slave, we muſt ſeek him in the Arabian or Indian Lohkman, which is of an Ancienter Date than any Greek Imitator of him. For it is no news to the Learned World, that thoſe Grecians we ſo much admire, (for what reaſons let Schoolmaſters tell you, for I can't) were but wretched Filchers, and worſe diſguiſers of the Eaſtern Wiſdom, and patch'd up their Aeſop from an Eaſtern Sage as they did their Fabulous Theban Hercules, from the Nobler and much older diſcovering Tyrian Merchant, as the name [Herakol] implies, and better Accounts than theirs inform us. This might be illuſtrated and explain'd, by ſome curious, and uſeful Arabian and Perſian Quotations; which no doubt would be call'd Scrawls, and Pothooks; and therefore Aeſop or Sad-coloured Monſieur Lohkman, with the Princes he was Councellor to, and the Occaſion of his Fables for the preſent is omitted; it may ſuffice in general to know, that Fables and Parables were much more in uſe among the Beaux Eſprits of the Eaſt, than they are with ours (tho' it be a Fabling Age) and were the proper means among them, of conveying Truths to thoſe, who had a Symetar and Bowſtring (without the help of Speech-makers and Evidences) at the Service of Wiſer and Honeſter Men than themſelves; who aim'd at Mercy, Truth, Honour, and the Publick Good. This may ſerve for an Excuſe for this digreſſion, and for the deſign of the Fables too; and if they are ſtop'd or enquir'd after, it may ſerve alſo for as good a Juſtification of our boaſting Engliſh Liberties, by way of a Trifle, as the ſuſpenſions of the Hab— Corp— Act were in good earneſt.—

AESOP FROM Iſlington.

FABLE I. Of the Countryman and Snake. A Pitying Yoeman found a frozen Snake, Which almoſt ſtarv'd with killing cold did quake: ('Twas when a Baſilisk the Vermine drove Forth from his Grott, and ſhelter of the Grove;) When home he took the wretched Refugie; Daily renew'd his Charity; And made the Crawling Thing one of his Family Who with the plenty of the place Soon chang'd his ſallow meager Look: Erects his Creſt, hiſt with a Grace, Gentile and haughtier Airs he took; Caſts off his ragged Skin, the Houſhold Rules, Deſpiſes all the honeſt Hinds, and counts them bubled Fools. Long with the Inſolence they bore of this ſame Wrigling Worm, They never were ſo us'd before, So ſnap't at ev'ry turn: It bit their faithful uſeful Dogs, Gnaw'd things with Weeſils, Rats and Mice Join'd with the poyſnous Toads and Frogs Spawn'd in unwholſom neighbouring Bogs, In every baſe Device. But when the Childrens Milk is ſoak'd, The Buttery clear'd, the Dairy rob'd, They'd be no longer ſo provok'd, Nor by their Maſters Favourite fob'd: But ſhew'd themſelves like Men: For out they drove with many a thwack, The Sawcy interloping Snake, To ſtarve abroad agen.

MORAL. Beware fond Brittains how you Favourites chuſe, No more the Scum of other Lands maintain: To foſter Forreign Things forbear; For all you'll by the Sharpers gain Will be their old Scorn'd Wooden Shooes, And a Fools Cap to wear.

FABLE II. Of the Steward and his Dogs. A Steward of a very large Eſtate, Set up for living ſplendedly and great, Dogs of all Countrys and all ſorts For miſchief moſt, and ſome for ſports, In order to't this Nimrod Spark provides, And more in ſuch a rout of Currs he prides, Then all his Squiriſh Equipage beſides, The Tenants ſore were vex'd and griev'd, And often beg'd to be reliev'd: They ſwarm'd with Tykes of ſeveral Nations And different qualities, and faſhions; Engliſh Bull-Dogs that wink and bite, No matter whither wrong or right; Who when ſet on with loud Halloo's Diſtinguiſh not 'twixt Friends and Foes. French Spaniels who can fawn when ſtarv'd, But ſnarl when full, and turn is ſerv'd, Dutch Dogs with Warlike Looks and Miens, Who ſtill in Danger ſave their Skins, Greedy and ready to devour, But on the Wolf's approach would ſcour. With ſuch each Country Farm is fill'd Their Cattle worried, Poultry kill'd, And all their ſtore conſum'd and ſpoil'd, The Clowns in dread of Life and Limb, Petition'd many a doleful time For eaſe, from dangerous, uſeleſs, Beaſts, By whom they were ſo much oppreſt, The Steward grave, as oft reply'd, You know w'are on the Foreſt ſide: Out-Laws and Wolves, may ruin all, And then too late for help you'll call. We know the danger cry'd the men, And that from Otters of the Neighbouring Fen; But yet tho' routs of Wolves and Thieves ſhould come They're not ſo dangerous as theſe Curs at home By ſad Experience we the difference know Between a Foreign and Domeſtick woe; Theſe Dogs undo us, and we pay for't too.

MORAL. May thoſe by whom keeping ſuch Dogs is encourag'd, Have their Seats made free Quarters, and their Land bravely forag'd

FABLE III. The Pump. A Welch-man (from his Hill's came down) Saw a ſtrange Engine near a Town; A high erected Poſt there ſtood, Crown'd with a Janus head of Wood; One of whoſe Faces look'd to th' Country, T'other Phyz o're the Town was Centry, A Clown cloſe by gave it many a thump, And told admiring Taffy 'Twas a Pump. With this ſide I my Cellar drain and dry With t'other I my Waters want ſupply, Here's all I have which in this bowl ſtands by. Sot, quoth the Briton, why doſt toil? Here's not a drop comes all this while. T'other ſtrait pours the diſh of Water Into the Pump: thou mendſt the matter, Cry'd Taffy Laughing, why doſt waſt The Water thou already haſt: Vext with his Ignorance, the Clown Replied if ever thou hadſt known How wiſer men can uſe a Tool, Thou wouldſt not prate ſo like a Fool: I threw this diſhful in, thou ſilly Lout Becauſe I'm ſure to get a Tubfull out.

MORAL. No wonder ſome profuſely give their C— 'Tis eaſie being liberal on deſign. Money well plac'd at time of need we know Tho' ſprinkled but by P— makes M— flow.

FABLE IV. Of the Bear and the Bees. COld Moſcovy (as ſtory tells) Is fam'd for Czars, the Bears: That it in Honey too excell'd, From the ſame Books appears. There's ſcarce a hollow-Tree that grows, When cut, but Honey from it flows. A Plundering Bear about did roam, To many a hollow Oak he troop'd, Greedy he was, oft chang'd his home, As oft the Pillag'd Trees he Scoop'd: The Witleſs Bees ſaw him devour, Their Summers toils, and Winter ſtore Call'd it perhaps protecting too, Leſt other Beaſts the like ſhould do, And ſeem'd to be content, At length when he enlarged his rounds, (For Rapine ſcarce knows any bounds.) To a Farm-houſe he went. The Bear his wonted raving drives, To run a muck at all the Hives. The Bees who had with patience born, The rifling of the Foreſt round; Enrag'd, their all was from them torn, And that their laſt retreat he found, With Indignation roſe in ſwarms, With one conſent all flew to arms, And all aſſail'd the Bear: In numerous cluſters round they hung; Never was prowling Beaſt ſo ſtung, As he was every where. Vaſt Numbers goard his tender Snout, Some his two ſhining Favourite Eyes, He rages, ſtorms, and cuffs about, Both mad and blind to ſhun them trys: Among the reſt there's none attack'd him more Then even thoſe Drones who ſnack'd with him before. In vain for aid he roars and bawls In vain his kindred Cubs he calls; The Floods and Woods that Interpoſe, Keep all things from him but his Foes. Till torn, and bloody, thro' the bogs he flys, And by thoſe inſects he cou'd once deſpiſe Raving, and Venom'd, for his Rapine dies.

MORAL. Whoever D' Alva like Eſſays To uſe oppreſſing means and ways, Will find the conſequence but bad; Oppreſſion all things over rules Not only raiſes ſwarms of Fools, But makes a wiſe Man mad.

FABLE V. Of the Shepherd, Boy, and Clowns. A Shepherd Boy had oft abus'd Many an honeſt Country Fellow, Tho' one wou'd gueſs that folks ſo us'd Were at the beſt but ſomething ſhallow, Yet they had mixtures of good Nature, Made them believe the unlucky Creature. To Neighbouring Villages he'd run, With frighted looks and diſmal tone, And roar out, Help! or I'm undone? Sometimes 'twas Thieves wou'd cut his Throat, Then, O the Wolf! was all his Note; Thus when he was of danger yelping, The ſturdy Lowts wou'd run to help him. Together wou'd ſcour th' Aſſociated band, And each with Life, Fortune, and Dung-fork in hand, But as ſoon as they came to the Sheep-cote, and Flock, All they had from the Jearing young Whelp was a mock: Or at beſt he'd but ſhow them, hang'd up on a Bough Some poor Wheſil or Polcat for a deſperate Foe: And after wou'd boaſt with his roguiſh Comrades, How finely he had bubled the clod-pated Blades, At laſt the Swains found out the Trade And no more heſten to his aid: But when in earneſt Wolves and Thieves Attack his Flock, there's none believes, But wounded and plunder'd he juſtly is crying For abuſing good Nature, and bantring and lying.

MORAL. If once I by a Knave am caught, 'Tis his, if twice, 'tis then my fault. Who on Deſign will Plots and tricks deviſe Tho' he his bubbles ne're ſo much deſpiſe, At length to his coſt, finds Blockheads will grow wiſe.

FABLE VI. Of the Ox and the Leeches. TO a fed Ox whoſe overflowing blood, Ran from his mouth and noſtrils like a flood, Some Leeches from th' adjoining Marches came, And cry'd to cure him they'd divert the ſtream, Each fix'd himſelf in a convenient part And drein'd the Blood and Spirits from his heart. The panting Beaſt beheld the Leeches mud, Enrich'd and cover'd with his Purple blood. But when they talk'd how much their help did pleaſe, And with what skill they drew off the Diſeaſe: The fainting Ox (finding his Vitals fail) Cry'd where's the difference if my Life, Blood flows By uſual maladies thro mouth and Noſe, Or againſt nature thro' a Leeches Tail.

MORAL. When ſtory tells how tax'd and Bleeding France Suffer'd by Favourite Leeches heretofore; Which of them did her miſery moſt advance Th' Ʋnnatural Catamite or natural Whore? We well may Judge the ſeveral Meſtreſſes, And Baſtards, of fourth Harry no Diſeaſe, When once compar'd with Sodom's Sulphrous Flaſhes That flam'd and ruin'd with the third's Bardaſhes.

FABLE VII. Of a Mother and her Son. A Knowing Mother in a Country Town, Found a Rich Widow for her Looby Son: Her Fellow Goſſip lik'd the Brawny Lad, The Mother courted, and the Match was made. When on the Noon of brisk S. Valentine, Our Lover blubber'd, nay he cou'd not Dine: The Mother wondring why he left his Fodder, And cry'd, and curs'd, and kept a doleful pother; The o're-grown School-boy ſtrait ſhe took aſide, And ask'd the whimpring Youngſter why he cry'd That ſhortly was to have both Wealth and Bride. Who quick repli'd, in Fury mixt with Snivel, 〈◊〉 give all Women Wealth, and Brides to th' Devil: I'de rather have the Greyhound-bitch, or Sow, They'l make the better Spouſes of the two. Why Rogue, quoth She, Marry, or take what follows. S. Ads-Nines I wont, I'de rather to th' Gallows. M. What Reaſon? S. Why this Morning I deſign'd To have my Miſtreſs for my Valentine, To ſteal a Kiſs, up Stairs I ſoftly tread, But ſaw a Sight ready to ſtrike me dead, She and the hectoring Cornet both a Bed. M. O wicked Carrion! faith I'le make her known, 'Slife ſhall a Strumpet think to catch my Son? Hold, Mother, crys he, home I ran to find You, and my Siſters both, to eaſe my mind, But ſaw, through the Latch-hole of the Dairy, Another Motive for Man to Marry, Dol and the Trooper at the ſame Figary. M. O wretched Jade! I'le break her Neck, I'le teach her To damn her Soul with ſuch a Ruffian Letcher: She trots a begging ſtrait. S. Good Mother hold He ſobbing crys, the Storys not all told. Up then I went, and open'd Jinnys Curtains, To tell my Siſters Tricks, and my Misfortunes, Out my Young Landlord ſtarts, draws, bans and ſwears •… eel cut my Throat, then tumbles me down Stairs. The Mother bellows more than he — M. O Whores, Wou'd I were dead — but both ſhall out of Doors; Thou ſhalt have both their Portions — faith I'le rout them, Not a crackt Groat but what they have about them. 〈◊〉 Zounds Mother Peace—pray let the Girls alone, Hear my damn'd Story —to the Cart I run • nd took a Rope, then to the Barn I went To end my wretched Life with full intent. • ne always at ſuch times ones ſelf prepares, 〈◊〉 crying ſung my Pſalm, and ſnob'd my Prayers. Scarce had I done, while fitting up the Nooſe, I ſaw—M. Hold Child—S. I think the Devil broke looſe You and the Threſher climb upon the Mow, And manage matters there, you beſt know how. Purpoſe to hang my ſelf I ſtrait let fall, But came my ways, wiſhing to hang you all. The Mother clear'd her Brow, then winck'd and ſmil'd 'Tis general Coupling-time thou ſilly Child; Go to thy Miſtreſs Fool, ſh'has Mony ſtore, That whitens all things, and heals every Sore. Wealth, all Defects, and Crimes, away will ſtrik • Chooſe where you will, perhaps we are all alike.

MORAL. • t the fair gentle Sex not look a-skew, • is a vile Story, and can ne're be true. • ay I ſuſpect the Mothers Sex in't, when • ethinks ſhe talks confounded like a Man 〈◊〉 theſe degenerate, and corrupted days, Women are fitteſt ſubjects of our praiſe. Woman no Country ſells, nor Land enſlaves; (Ʋnleſs the curſed Prieſthood goes their halves) Truſt, Faith, and Honour, they engroſs alone; No baneful Woman evidence is ſhown. With them the chiefeſt Joys on Earth we prove, They ſoften Cares, and crown our Toyls with Love. Of Avarice this Fable bids beware, • ony to wretched Man's the ſureſt ſnare, His chief Vice-gerent of the Prince of Air. Nothing ſhows more than this the Power of Coin, Thoſe force even makes ſuch fallen Angels ſhine.

FABLE VIII. Of the Man and his Idols. A Superſtitious Man had damn'd ill Fortune, Loſſes come daily on, Revenues ſhorten; As daily he, that every thing might hap well, Ador'd ſome guilded Idols in his Chappel: Much time he loſt, much Incence ſmoak'd in vain And nothing from the ſenſleſs Things cou'd gain Him did a Friend, pitying his want of ſenſe, And want of Mony, labour to convince: So Reaſon fooliſh Zeal did once o're come, When back'd with Rage, and Poverty at home. Half-witted Men run often to extreams, To Atheiſm from Superſtitious Dreams. Which made him knock his gilded Pagods down; The Family ran gladly to his aid, Hoping the bigot ſtarving Trade was done, And they no more ſhou'd famiſh while he pray'd, When from their broken Trunks vaſt Treaſures flew, Enough to make him eaſy while he liv'd, This heap of Pelf, of which he nothing Knew, Was by ſome wealthy Anceſtor contriv'd: Who for his wiſe Poſterity did hoard, And thought Religious Dread, the Sureſt Guard. O'rejoy'd he crys, let others Pray and Bow, I've turn'd you to the fitteſt purpoſe now.

MORAL In times perhaps as hard as Hal the Eighths, What if a ſhining Church help'd pay our Debts. What if in State the Expedient now On ſome fine Things were try'd; Who their gay out-ſides daily ſhow, And mightier Treaſures hide.

FINIS.