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$$$$ NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY $$$$ PART ONE ; UNDERGROUND $$$ I I am a sick man ... I am a spiteful man . I am an unpleasant 3 man . I think my liver is diseased . However , I don't know beans about my disease , and I am not sure what is bothering me . I don't treat it and never have , though I respect medicine and doctors . Besides , I am extremely superstitious , let's say sufficiently so to respect medicine . ( I am educated enough not to be superstitious , but I am . ) No , I refuse to treat it out of spite . You probably will not understand that . Well , but I# understand it . Of course , I can't explain to you just whom I am annoying in this case by my spite . I am perfectly well aware that I cannot " get even " with the doctors by not consulting them . I know better than anyone that I thereby injure only myself and no one else . But , still , if I don't treat it , it is out of spite . My liver is bad , well then -- let it get even worse ]] I ha . . .